Thee Farm Wife

Thee Farm Wife

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Christmas anxiety

I woke up this morning with anxiety in my heart. It felt hopeless. 

And then. Wait. This girl knows Thee Word. 

"Do not be anxious about anything..." Philippians 4:6

I have been flying - OK, really crash landing - through life the past few weeks. Jumping from one thing to the next - without a plan or a parachute. No life-saving devices. My prayer room is gathering dust.

No wonder the anxiety kicked in. It's Christmas. Not "FREAKOUTANDLOSEFOCUSmas"

I need to get back to counting. Finding the gifts in life and giving thanks. Ann Voskamp calls it eucharisteo. Acknowledging that God has given us so much and taking time to thank Him, in all things, in all circumstances.

Take a deep breath. Make a list of the absolutely must-dos:

  • dishes
  • vacuum and mop
  • have the children put their things away in the living room
That's good enough. Now we can focus on the day and the peace and the hope that comes from Christ Jesus. After all, I am pretty sure Mary didn't sweep the stable before she gave birth. She solely focused on Thee One to come.

Merry Christmas, my friends! Much love to you. And peace, always, peace.

Thee Farm Wife

Saturday, December 19, 2015

I'm selfish

Honestly. On days like today I want to throw a major temper tantrum, pull the covers over my head and not come out of our room until tomorrow.

The minute I woke up little voices were calling to me: "Mommy can I? Mommy will you? Mommy I can't..."

My friend Shannon and I often lament that we are done adulting. We say it jokingly but deep inside we really mean it. A lot. Like every day at some point. We just want to pull out our coloring books and a bottle and be kids.

See, some days, the weight of it all is so daunting. There are actually real, live human beings that depend on me for everything. And some days, it is just too much. 

It's a constant barrage of mental over stimulation. I never finish a sentence. A thought. A list. A book. A bath. A prayer. Because little people need me.

The same little people that I prayed for. Begged God to bring to me. All five of them. 

Then the guilt creeps in. "Other moms do it."

Well, I'm not other moms, I'm me. This. This right here is my reality. And now that I have taken a minute to pour it out, I feel less alone in the mess. 

I still don't want to adult today. So, I issue a proclamation:

Thursday, December 17, 2015

We pause...and we wait

It is so easy to give in to the rush. The craziness. The gimmes and I wants. The last chance sales. 

Yesterday, I panicked when my mother-in-love asked me if I was ready for Christmas. Wait. What? Christmas is NEXT week?!?!?!?!?!

No! I'm not ready. I don't even know how many gifts I've purchased. Are there enough stocking stuffers? What do I buy my mom?

As Shirley Temple says, "Oh my goodness!"

Then Mom-in-love said, "It is what it is. There's no need to worry or rush. If it doesn't get all done it will still be just fine." And she knows this and speaks it as truth. She is all-wise and encouraging all in one. 

And it will be. 

We cut out all of the fancy. There are no Pinterest-worthy decorations or crafts. No decadent meals. Christmas cookies will come from a Pillsbury tube. I let the kids decorate the tree - a huge thing for me - letting go of my perfectionism.

The anticipation is still there. The waiting for Him to come. That joy that only comes on Christmas morning. Hope-filled JOY.

So, we pause. Take a deep breath. Refocus. Jesus is coming. Nothing will ever be good enough or perfect enough or full enough - and still He comes.

And after we celebrate His coming. We anticipate and wait for the next time He will come. This one we need to hurry for. Because there is no red-circled date on the calendar for this date. There will only be a trumpet to announce the arrival of Thee King.

Are you ready? Have you invited Him in? Throw open the door of your hurting heart and say, "Jesus, I'm ready for you!"

All Heaven and Nature sing...

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

How do I pray?

I had the opportunity to talk with a good friend last week. When I asked her how she was feeling about God she replied, "Hopeless."

And that broke my heart.

As tears began to fall down her face she poured out, "I don't know how to pray. Is He even listening? I don't know how to read the Bible. It's all so confusing and I feel lost."

Let's start slowly, friends. Take my hand and walk beside me and we will figure this out together.  

  • You have to believe that God is real. 
He is very real and He hears us.

"This is the confidence we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will HE HEARS US. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of Him." 1 John 5:14-15 (emphasis mine.)

Be confident that He hears you.

  • You have to believe that God's Word - Thee Bible - is true. 
"All Scripture (that is, Thee Bible) is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness, that the (wo)man of God may be competent, 
equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (emphasis mine.)

Ok, I know right now, that if you are not familiar with reading Thee Bible you are probably saying, "Carolyn, what in thee world does any of that mean?"

Here's where you have to pay attention. Dissect each word. Take it apart and think about it. Look up words you may not know. Or find a different Bible version until it does make sense to you. is an excellent source. You can go there, type in this verse and choose your version. If you are not yet a Bible reader, I would choose the Good News version or The Message for now. 

I personally use the NIV and other translations, but that is because I have been seeped in God's Word since before I could read, thanks to a Mama and Grandma who instilled a love and thirst for His Word. Does that make me better than you? Nope. But I wanted to share why I feel a deep connection with Thee Bible, and a deep desire to teach others how to read it and make it applicable to their lives.

So, let's unpack the verse above. 

The Bible is the very breath of God (Hebrew ruach). It's God-breathed. Living. Still true today because if it has breath, then it is alive!

Next comes a list of what we can use Thee Word for:
  1. Teaching. Which is what I am using it for today with you.
  2. Reproof. To show you what is wrong in your life. To point you back to His direction. 
  3. Correction. A little discipline never hurt anyone. A father lovingly disciplines his children. God is that kind of Father. 
  4. Training in righteousness. Righteousness is a word you may hear a lot in church. It simply means living right. That is, the way God instructs you to. Thee Bible is full of guidance and wisdom. It may be thousands of years old, but it's wisdom is still useful for today, right where we are. 
And finally, the results of reading His Word:
  1. It will make you a competent woman. If you will serve God, you will be capable. To do anything. To love those who hate you. To get out of bed each day. To be a better wife. An attentive mom. A good friend.
  2. It will equip you for every good work. It will give you all you need to accomplish the good things that God has planned for you. Read Jeremiah 29:11. That's our family verse, and I want you to claim it for your own, too. 
  • You have to "get right" with God
This last point is also the most important one. 

If you don't trust me will you take my words as true? Nope. If you don't know me would you let me in your front door? I hope not. How do you feel when you haven't been forgiven when you have done someone wrong and truly have apologized and they won't offer grace? Rotten. Rejected. Torn.

We all have sinned. Romans 3:23 says that "all have sinned and fall short of God's glory." That means He is God and perfect and you, my darling, are not. 

Sin - anything that is against God's will and perfect love - separates us from God. It forms a barrier. And while we are all still sinner's God still loves us. That's a Gospel truth.

But is only when we ask for forgiveness and become cleansed that we can approach Him in prayer.

This is how I pray when I have sinned:

"God, I really messed up today. I let my mouth get the best of me. I said things that were hurtful and hateful. I used your holy name as a profanity. God, I need to ask you to forgive me. Restore me to you. Give me strength to watch and weigh my words so that they do not tear others down. Thank you, Jesus, for dying for me, so that I may have this forgiveness and boldly approach the throne of God. AMEN."

Confess. Tell Him how you sinned. Ask for forgiveness. Ask for help with the sin and offer a way to make it right next time. Thank Jesus for His sacrifice. Praise God. 

Praying this way opens up the gates to approach God. He will hear you. He will find you. He will help you. 

You have no need to feel hopeless. You can move forward. You will be healed!

If you have any more questions about Thee Bible or prayer comment below, send me a FB message or email me at I look forward to hearing from you.

And I will never stop praying for you.

Monday, November 30, 2015

The Devotional for Women...a book review

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from B&H/Lifeway Publishing. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

If you are looking for a meaningful gift idea for Christmas this year, I highly recommend this daily devotional. First of all, I love the cover. I love love love books. And a book that feels good in my hands. Plus, it's purple.

It's what's on the inside that really captured my attention though. The paper is sumptuous. My pen feels good on the page. (Hey, I confessed I am a book nerd, kay?)

Each day has a new subject: from "The Value of Submission" on Day 105 to "Do You Pursue Other Lovers?" on Day 183. There are also entries for singles, moms, friends and tough subjects such as being hard-hearted, which I have struggled with in the past.

The devotional is compiled and edited by Rhonda Harrington Kelley and Dorothy Kelley Patterson. It features writing from more than twenty authors, so there is a rich variety of story-telling and soul stirring questions.

I plan on reading it through each year and writing notes on the pages as each entry relates to my life in that particular season. I love that it is not a dated journal. You can start anytime, and also not feel guilty for skipping a day (or two or three sigh).

Use a coupon for Family Christian Books or search for it on Amazon or at your favorite book retailer. 

Let me know where you found a copy and whether or not you plan on keeping it for yourself or giving it as a gift! 

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Why I avoid the whole "Black Friday" thing...and writing woes, and blessings, always blessings

I love good deals, honest I do. But I'm not one for crowds, or chaos, or mom's duking it out for the latest tickle-me-Elmo toy. I don't think I've ever shopped on Black Friday. Nope. never.

Here's a secret for you: if you don't look at the ads you won't know what you're missing.

I opened the Blain's Farm Fleet ad and looked at a few pages and started making a mental list of all of the things I could get for a great deal for ME. None of which I needed or even realized I wanted. I threw the ad and the rest of the specials in the recycle bin.

For me, it's too easy to get caught up in the thrill of the deal. 

All of the snow has melted here at Thee Farm. That makes me happy happy happy.

Thee Farmer and his eldest daughter are out cleaning pens and doing projects. They went shopping yesterday - to the farm store. She was so excited to get new coveralls and gloves. They also bought some Dewalt stuff that was on sale. She named her impact drill. Seriously. That girl is crazy about farming and fixing things.

I have to admit that I have felt totally uninspired in my writing the past few weeks. I know WHAT I want to write.  

And then...I look over and there is salt sprinkled from one end of the house to the other. Dinosaurs look like they have risen from extinction. (When did I buy him that many?!) Marker all over the windows. And a sweet little voice that says, "Mama, I touch Christmas!" 

That's just the two-year-old. 

Then there is Thee Little Farmer, AJ. He's four and he loves to ask questions on top of questions. And he hasn't quite gotten the hang of pointing directly at things. So, he will ask us about "that thing over there" and we have no idea what he is talking about. His teacher made a Thanksgiving video of his class and he told her he was "Thankful for tractors."

Me, on Thanksgiving, totally oblivious to anyone or anything, except the pickle tray!

Sometimes, I am at a total loss for words. With four children bickering over tater tots and the TV blaring Bubble Guppies and Thee Farmer outside cleaning pens all day...I take a deep breath. And another. And I count my blessings:

  • Five amazing and unique children, plus a future daughter-in-love.
  • We are all healthy.
  • We have a beautiful home full of love and laughter and trust and hope.
  • We have a church family that is beyond words.
  • Cows. Lots of cows.
  • Pepsi
  • Thee Farmer. Always, Thee Farmer.
Blessings to you, my friend. Which ones are you counting?

Thursday, November 19, 2015

The Sinner's Prayer

What if true faith was more than just praying a prayer and hoping beyond hope that your life will magically change for the better?

What if true faith requires action?

What if I walked up to you and said, "Do you know Jesus?" Let's pretend that you don't. Let's pretend I walk up to you, a complete stranger, and ask that question. I don't say "hi" or introduce myself. Yeah, I figured, that would be freaky.

What if I saw you in line at the grocery store and I saw your eyes when everything was rung up and I knew that there wasn't going to be enough to pay for it all. That I knew you were mentally calculating what you would have to put back. And I swiped my card and simply said, "Happy Thanksgiving!" and then followed the grocery guy out to my car.

That, my dear, is knowing Jesus. "Do unto others what you would have them do unto you." I would want you to have that pecan pie for your Thanksgiving dinner. And the Cool Whip. And I certainly don't want your babies to see you struggle to pay for the biggest turkey they had ever seen!  

I wouldn't hand you a tract. I would just offer you a little bit of love. But I wouldn't take the credit for it. Because it wasn't mine to give anyways, it all comes from Thee One who provides for us all.

A Pastor friend of mine asked me that very question yesterday. He asked me if I thought that we were turning people away with our belief system. I told him how many times I had prayed and asked Jesus into my heart when I was younger and how I felt so defeated and guilty when I would mess up because I couldn't quite understand why I wasn't perfect and why I kept sinning.

You can't come to know Thee One who dies to forgive you until you know His ways. And the only way to see that is to meet His people.

Working in the nursery Sunday mornings so young mommies can attend service and maybe just think and feel like an adult for an hour? That's Jesus.

Holding the door open for an older woman on a windy day? Jesus.

Loving someone even when they are very open about the fact that they don't and probably won't ever believe in God? You guessed it. Jesus.

Because the only way I came to saving faith was when His love was demonstrated to me. Women who knew my shame and loved me anyways. They showed me Jesus. My Grandma Troupe not turning away from me when I got pregnant at 18, instead being happy for the new life that was coming. Jesus. My mama never lecturing me about all of the bad but instead praying that I would remember that I was a child of Thee King. Lots and lots of Jesus.

Once you get to know Him. See and feel His love...that's when you will fall on your knees in worship and complete surrender and your heart will burst and you will tell yourself, "This. This is love."

And you will want to be Jesus to your world.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Finding your happy place

I had a plan for the month of write a series of posts on...heck, I can't even remember.

The kids are running a muck. I have a stack of books to read and get reviewed. (Oh yeah! I was supposed to do book reviews and giveaways this month. Now I remember!)

The thing is, I am having problems staying focused.

I'm like a little kid that walks in the front door of Toys R Us and just starts running up and down the aisles and screaming "Lookie!" and then turns the other way and squeals, "I want that!" and in the mean time Mommy is saying, "We came to get a toy for Jordan's birthday party honey. We made a deal remember?"

I cleaned the kitchen Tuesday. Like, took everything off of the counters and cleaned it. I should have taken a picture for proof. Now I feel delusional because it looks nothing like the Pinterest-worthy job I did two.stinking.days ago.

Focus. Right.

Focus on our two giggly boys jumping on their bed and talking in their own made-up language. Focus on my Bible sitting open beside me. Focus on tucking our daughters into bed and praying for sweet dreams and future husbands and algebra tests tomorrow.

Breathe. Draw back in. Count the blessings.

This. This right here, is my happy place. Dirty dishes and all.

Tomorrow, a book review and a Friday giveaway.

I better stop now or I might forget to

Monday, November 9, 2015

An awesome blog series about friendship

If you followed me on the Thirty-One Day Journey from Conceit to Complete, you know that there were literally thousands of other bloggers out there dedicated to writing for the whole month of October.

I discovered a blogger who decided to write about friendship for the month and boy oh boy did her message hit home.

You are going to love her honesty and open heart. Day 27: Sandpaper Friends was my favorite post. 

So head on over and check out Pattie's and your friends will thank me for it!

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Walking Through Darkness

Notice I said "through" and not "in". 

When life is dark and there seems to be no light. No joy. No happiness. No purpose. Don't set up camp and dwell there.

Don't sit in your pile of ashes and cry all day.

I know it is difficult. I'm walking through it right now, too. I am asking you to consider a new way of living. A life of joy. Joy is permanent. Happiness depends on circumstances.

You may not be happy about the way you are feeling, but you can have JOY that you are alive. 

I hate the time change. Loathe it. Why do we mess with God's cycle of the days?  When there is less sun and light in the fall I begin to feel depressed. I can easily slip into darkness and dwell there until the spring. And in the past I have. 

But something happened this morning. I drug myself to the laundry room because I knew that if I didn't dry the towels no one would be able to bathe before church. We farm, that's just nasty. I have a radio in the laundry room that plays American Family Radio 24/7. 

This morning there was a speaker talking about joy and happiness. I only listened because I needed motivation to fold and put away and then get the towels in the dryer. 

He was talking about King David. Now, if you read some of his Psalms, you will see that he had a lot of darkness in his life before he became King. He writes about being surrounded by his enemies, being in a pit of despair (Psalm 40, literally saved my life one night), and losing hope. Then David would say, "To you , O LORD, I lift up my soul. In you I trust, O my GOD." (Psalm 25:1-2a NIV).

Darkness. Chasing him.

Now jump to Psalm 23. Nearly everyone has heard this one. We recite it at funerals. But do you really know what it is saying to you?

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, 
I will fear no evil, for you are with me." Psalm 23:4

The valley of the shadow of death is often translated as "the darkest valley." I don't know about you, but I often find myself in darkness. Way too often. And I dwell there. Set up permanent residence. And I can't see any light.

But David, not David! He walks THROUGH that darkness because He knows that God is right beside him and that God is waiting on the other side of that darkness!

We have a choice today. I can set up camp and curl up and hide from life. Or I can say, "DON'T YOU DARE TAKE ANOTHER STEP TOWARD ME, SATAN! I AM JUST PASSING THROUGH!"

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Looked in the mirror lately?

Yesterday, I urged you to #fightforyourman.

Today, I'm asking you to take a long hard look at your inner self.

Satan wants you to live a defeated life. But I'm telling you that you have been wallowing in the muck long enough, my dear.

There are a few things that I want us to look at together today. A checklist of sorts.

  • Do you still dream about what-might-have-been with a boyfriend from the past?
  • Are you friends with any men on Facebook or other social media that you have had a physical relationship with in the past?
  • Have you ever dreamed up full details on how you would divorce your husband and make your own life?
  • Do you have a guy friend that you turn to before you talk to your husband? If so, does your husband know about it?
  • Do you lock your phone/iPad/computer and freak out if your husband asks to use it?
  • Do you have a relationship with a man from work or church that you know if anyone else knew about you would be ashamed?
Know that I am praying for you to get real with yourself. To take back your joy. To honor your vows. 

Do you confess to your husband? That's totally up to you. But first, get right with God. Clean up your friends lists. Unlock your phone. Clear out any contacts. Change your number if you have to. It's time to stop looking to another man to fulfill what your husband has been called to do.

If you say, "My man doesn't have what I need. He doesn't care about me or what I want anymore." THAT'S A BOLD-FACED LIE OF THE DEVIL. God doesn't want that for you or your marriage. Adultery is not part of His plan for your life. Channing Tatum is never going to come and sweep you off of your feet, girl!

And if none of these apply to you, I praise God! 

Taking a look back at yesterday's post, if any of the above applies to your husband, it is time to have a sit down and discuss what the boundaries in your marriage should be. 

Don't threaten divorce. Don't yell. Be the woman God is calling you to be and tell him honestly how you feel. What you are afraid of. What you know about what's been going on and question what you don't know. 

But first, PRAY. PRAY. PRAY. Get down on your knees and put it all before Thee Lord.

I'm praying right along side you. 

As always, you can email me or message me on Facebook. I will help any way I can. 

All my love,
Thee Farm Wife

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

A little cleaning inspiration from Ann Voskamp

Do you struggle with homekeeping? Feel inadequate? Feel like every one else has a nice/organized home and you never will?

Writer Ann Voskamp has 6 Ways to Speed Clean to inspire you!

And while you're there, sign up for her amazing free printables. Her book 1,000 Gifts is a must-read!

Someone's after your man

and it's not who you think it is.

 Be sober [well balanced and self-disciplined], be alert and cautious at all times. That enemy of yours, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion [fiercely hungry], seeking someone to devour. I Peter 5:8 AMP

I want to offer some advice for those of you dealing with discord in your marriage. 

Your husband is not your enemy.
That other woman is not your enemy.
Pornography is not your enemy.
You mother-in-law is not your enemy.
Alcohol is not your enemy.
Work is not your enemy.
Whatever is stealing him away from you is not your enemy.

Satan is your enemy. Your fight is not against man:

 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood (ANY HUMAN), but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Ephesians 6:12 (my note added)

Wake up, girl, and fight for your man! 

You made a Covenant with God when you married him. And I know you took those vows seriously - when times were great. To love, honor and cherish. Some of us even submitted in obedience - gasp! In sickness and in health. For richer, for poorer. In good times and IN BAD. Until you are parted by death.

Take a deep breath. Think back to your wedding day. Close your eyes. Remember your vows. Maybe you had no idea that marriage was this hard. Maybe you thought,"None of that will ever happen to us."

But it has happened and now you've got to take your stand!

Let's unpack that verse from 1 Peter:

  1. Be sober. That doesn't mean "don't drink" (although that won't help the situation any). It means to keep your wits about you. If you're "drunk" are you of a sound mind? Nope.You're prey.
  2. Be alert. Be proactive. Be self-disciplined in prayer. Be on the alert for The Enemy.
  3. Who is your enemy? The devil. 
  4. He targets you, my friend, because you are standing up for your faith. You are trying so hard to be a Christian. He tells you that you are failing. That you are worthless. That divorce would be so easy. 
  5. If you give in, he WILL devour you . Everything you love. Everything you have sacrificed for. WILL.BE.DESTROYED.

Girl, you memorize that verse. You shout it out loud. Write it on sticky notes. Put one on your mirror. One by your kitchen sink. On your desk. In your planner. On your phone. You tell Satan not to take another step towards you. Tell that devil he ain't getting your man! That your family will not be destroyed. Tell Satan to get out! 

(are you a little scared? don't be. this is a fight for your life. for your babies. for your man.)

I promise you this: "Thee LORD is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one." 2 Thessalonians 3:3

You have got to get strong. Exercise your prayer muscles. Get yourself in a closet and pray. Click here for why and how.

I am praying for you. Fiercely. 

Tuesday, November 3, 2015


Any change you desire requires action, my dear!
You can tell me you want to change your life. Clean your house. Lose some weight. Be a better wife. Yell less. Read more. Make some friends.
(Which by the way are all things you have messaged me about the past few weeks.)
And I can help you reach your goals, but you're gonna have to put those big girl panties on and do some work.
For instance, this morning, we had a hot mess going on. Thee Farmer is tired from harvest and really needs a break. However, last night was dance class visitation for Jaima from 6:30 to 8. I wasn't about to haul those farm boys off to dance class. I don't even want to think about how that would've turned out. So, Thee Tired Farmer tried his best to keep them all in line, feed them, bathe them, get them to sleep. And he did it, by golly!
Now add to that, me trying to write at least two hours a day. Me, not making sure the kids are doing their inside chores - because they would rather run outside with Dad and work with him. Me, not cleaning up the little messes as they happen.
Back to this outfits picked out. No lunches made. Floors are sticky because Little Man squirted juice boxes all over them and I sort of wiped it up. Which means now they are black, sticky, dog hair messes. Hey. Just keeping it real.
We got them ready for school and on the bus. That's when I took action.
The school cubbies were in the dining room. The kids weren't using them. So I moved them to the front hall by the door where the kids come in. Coats, hats, shoes and bags: problem solved! Took me five minutes.
Next, the table. Covered in laundry and things that needed put away. Quickly sorted garbage from keepers. Folded towels. Put away. Problem solved. Three minutes.
Right now, I am taking a fifteen minute coffee and writing break. Had a wonderful phone call from my bestie (making time for friends is so important!) We prayed together, encouraged each other and reset the tone for our day!
I could have crawled back in bed and ignored Thee Mess. I could've fallen prey to Satan and screamed and yelled. But our battle is not with those we love. Our battle is not our house, even if you live in an old fixer-upper with no fixin up money to be had. NO! Our battle is with the Enemy. He wants you to live defeated.
I'm calling you out on this one. Make a choice right now. Do you want to live or do you want to merely survive?
You can email me at You can comment below. I'm on Twitter and Instagram  @farmewife4life. If you're my Facebook friend send me a message. I WANT TO HELP YOU! but I can't if you don't tell me where you are struggling. So, I will wait to hear from you, darling. Be brave. Action!

Monday, November 2, 2015

Depression and Hope

Today I am reaching out a hand to you, dear friends. Begging you to hold on. Help is here. Hope is something you can have again.

Click right  here: hope toolbox

Sara Borgstede has an amazing website that tells about her journey as a Christian woman with depression.

I honestly sometimes thought I was all alone in my battle with mental illness. I believed that lie that if Jesus was in me then I couldn't possibly suffer from depression.

There is hope, but you've got to fight. Start by heading over to her site...scroll down to the part about The Hope Toolbox. There is a code for you to get it for FREEEEEE!!!! All you have to do is click and it will be emailed to you.

I am telling you TODAY IS THEE DAY to pick up the pieces and start living again!

Will you grab on to hope?

Good girl!

Sunday, November 1, 2015

A whole month to give thanks

Thee Farm Girl and I went to Target vacation. 

The whole back of the store was lined with crates and boxes and we could hardly get through. From one end to the other Christmas stuff. Hoards of people were swarming the still full Halloween aisles. There was enough Halloween candy to last our entire nation ten years. Well, at least it looked that way. 

When are we going to stop buying crap and start living life? 

Does buying gold glitter Christmas balls make you feel Christmasy? Wouldn't you rather just cuddle up with your babies and read them a story? Tell them how you are going to help build a well in Africa this year instead of buying Made in China toys? Seriously, Thee Farm Girl picked that out today. 

There I go off-track again...but seeing all of that stuff just made me feel so...un-Christlike? Too worldly? 

I usually end up buying all sorts of unnecessary items on our Target excursions. Today, we came home with what was on Thee List. 

Because honestly? We already have more than enough. 

This season, Thee Farmer and I are going to draw closer to each other. We don't ever want to take anything for granted again. We want our children to be thankful for what they already have - not what they think they need or lack.

Tonight my prayer is this:

"Let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts, since as members of one body we are called to peace, and be thankful!" Colossians 3:15 

It's going to take some work, but I'm going to have a thank-full attitude this season. There is always, always something to be thankful for. 

Let's count them together...shall we?

For more on giving thanks and Eucharisteo visit  Ann Voskamp is the author of 1,000 Gifts and has been such an inspiration to me. There is even a free printable to help you get started with your counting. 

Saturday, October 31, 2015


Thirty-one days to journey from Conceit to Complete. I don't know about you, but I have noticed little changes in my life as I have taken the focus off of me and have looked to Jesus as my example - my measuring stick.

We've talked about commandments and how life is not full of "Thou shall nots" but rather, "Serve. Sacrifice. Love."

We've talked about making commitments and keeping them. Something a few of my very dear friends will tell you I need to keep working on!

We've learned what Communion really is - a feast of thanksgiving for Thee One who died once, for all.

I bared my soul and told you about my conversion. Confessed. Connected. Considered.

But Thee Main purpose for this thirty-one day journey was to lead you to Thee Cross. To convince you that this is all very real.

I will never stop sharing my story with you because I want so very much for you to believe - not so you can be like me - but so that you can discover a faith all of your very own. So that you, too, can be set free from your past, and fully live this amazing life that is spilled out before you.

I confess I wasn't telling you the whole truth and nothing but Thee Truth when I told you we would become complete by today. The Bible says we won't become complete til the day Jesus returns.

So stay with me on this journey of hope?

I promise to share what's on my heart. Encourage you. Teach you. Answer your questions and love on you.

We can grow together.

Now, promise me you won't eat all of the Reese's you take from your kids' treat bags tonight? It's my birthday. You can send them to me.

Friday, October 30, 2015

Day Thirty: Commission

I had no idea that four years ago our lives would be drastically changed.

Tonight, on the eve of my 43rd birthday, I sit here in this noisy, chaotic and terribly messy house, and wonder what life would be like if a miracle hadn't happened. 

You see, four years ago I fell in love with a little boy. A very sick and neglected little boy with eyes so blue that seemed to look right down into my very soul.

And I knew, with all of my heart, that God was calling me to help him. I scooped him up and took him home and bathed his broken little body. Thee Farmer stood guard in the bathroom doorway and watched me cry as I washed away layers of dirt. 

Right now, with tears streaming down my face, I remember how traumatic it was for all of us. For him, because he had really known no human interaction and for us to see so much suffering. 

We cleaned him up and did what we knew how to do best, LOVE.

Tonight, I have to write this to remind myself what God has called me to do. I am a mother to five wonderful children. I am a wife of an amazing (and handsome!) man. God has called me to this right here, right now. He has commissioned me to sacrifice self and instead invest in those around me. 

One child was more than enough for me, back in the day. But then, I started praying for a husband because we were so lonely. Then we started praying for another child and Jaima arrived. For five more years we prayed and cried out to Him to send us another child, and then our first miracle came, Jaiden. 

Fast forward to today and two more precious miracle boys added to our family. 

It's a lot to handle. 

Honestly? Tonight I am questioning God's calling on my life. There is never enough patience, silence, or peace. Because I forget to fill up on the Truth of His Word. And I end up a hot mess. And yelling, "How can I be a Christian mom in all of this chaos?!?!?!?!?!?!"

Yep, I said it. I spoke the truth. When Thee Stuff of life happens and you get caught up in the moment your church face comes off and its gets real. (Up in here.)

I sit here and whisper:

You made me.
You are my strength.
You are right here.
This is who I am meant to be.
This is the way it is and you are not going to leave me in the middle of the mess.

I hear little voices crying for me. It's bedtime and their sweet little faces need kisses and they need to hear stories and know that they are loved.

This, I can do. I can love. It's all He has asked me to do.

Just love.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Fervent: a book review

I honestly had given up on my prayer life. I was tired of praying and not being able to be effective. Something was blocking me from truly opening up before God. Then two things happened, I read the book Fervent by Priscilla Shirer and I saw the movie War Room.

By the second page, I knew what had happened to me. I had forgotten who I was fighting against. Not what, but who! (Whom? yikes, it's been so long since English 101.) 

You see, my friend, you have got to identify your enemy. You have just one. Your co-worker is not your enemy. Your husband is not your enemy. Neither are your in-laws or that person driving waaaaay too slow in front of you.

The enemy is Satan. He is alive and he is the Prince of Darkness. He prowls the Earth seeking to destroy you and me. God's people are his target. 

Let me assure you of two things: he's already defeated and you've already won. But you've got to fight, girl! 

Fight for your marriage.
Fight for your kids.
Fight for your career.
Fight for your church.
Fight for your friends.
Fight for your health and the health of those you love.
Fight for the orphans and widows.
Fight for your country.

Equip yourself and fight! 

Priscilla writes with passion and a voice that says, "I'm fighting right along side you!" If you want to reignite your prayer life or learn how to fight on your knees then I highly recommend this book. Write in it. Underline. Make a plan. She will guide you through the steps and help strengthen your prayers with Biblical principles.

I have a copy of Fervent to giveaway. One lucky winner will be drawn on Monday, November 2nd, 2015. All you have to do is leave a comment here on the blog and say,"I'm ready to fight!"

If you can't wait to get a copy, you can purchase one here:
 Get your copy!

Disclosure: I am a Lifeway/B&H blogger and received a free copy of the book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

Conduct: Weapons of Warfare

From Conceit to Complete...are we there yet?

It's a brand new day and while the sun is not shining here at Thee Farm, we did receive an inch of rain. Which makes Thee Farmer a happy farmer. 

I've been thinking about you a lot. Like up at night, suddenly awake, and wondering, "What else can I tell her to help her focus on Jesus?"

We sang a song in Sunday school and it went something like this:

Read your Bible, pray every day, and you'll grow, grow, GROW!

Whether you are a lifelong believer, a new believer, or you just aren't quite sure yet, I invite you to take a fresh look at God's Word. 

From Thee Beginning to Thee End, there is a constant theme - God created and God loves. 

Yes, there are battles and Laws and murder and miracles and weird stuff and long lists of names. There are prostitutes and love letters and battle cries. There are amazing transformations and some stories that will make you shake your head. There are visions and dreams and prayers and wisdom. A talking donkey, too. 

God made you. Created you and knew you when you were in your mother's womb. You are not a mistake. You are loved. 

1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

Take a deep breath and know this:

Philippians 1:6 
He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.

You are not ugly. You are not worthless.

God is within you. You will not fail. God will help you at the break of day! 
Psalm 46:5

When you read His Words and memorize them you can bring them to mind night when you are scared, when you are feeling low, when your kiddos are out of control, when you feel like all is lost. He is there with words to lift you up.

Next comes prayer. 

Prayer is nothing more than this: acknowledging that He is God and you are not. Placing your life in His hands. Surrendering. 

He is not Santa Claus. You can't ask Him to bring you a Ferrari. Well, you can, but that's another post for another day. 

We don't manipulate God with prayer, rather we come into His presence and still ourselves and pour out our hearts. 

Now, how about starting your day ready for battle?

Above all, you must live as citizens of heaven, conducting yourselves in a manner worthy of the Good News about Christ. Then, whether I come and see you again or only hear about you, I will know that you are standing together with one spirit and one purpose, fighting together for the faith, which is the Good News. Philippians 1:27 NLT

Stand firm. Stand together. Fight for our faith. 

Tuesday, October 27, 2015


(Confession #337: My house is a mess as I write this. I had a tooth extracted yesterday and nothing has been done. We ate mac and cheese for dinner. Just keeping it real.)

Who do you consult when you have a legal issue? A lawyer.

Who you consult if you have an engine problem? A mechanic.

Who do you consult when you want to know an outcome? Your horoscope? The stars? A psychic?

 “‘Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. 
I am the Lord your God."
 Leviticus 19:31

"When someone tells you to consult mediums and spiritists, who whisper and mutter, should not a people inquire of their God? 
Why consult the dead on behalf of the living?" 
Isaiah 19:31

If you have consulted with the other side then it's time to take back what Satan has tried to steal from you: peace and joy.

Watch this:

There is a battle for your soul. And you belong to Jesus. 

Tomorrow, a book review on Fervent by Priscilla Shirer. A book that radically changed my life in one paragraph.

Until then, rest well, my friend. 

It is well with my soul. 

  1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
    When sorrows like sea billows roll;
    Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
    It is well, it is well with my soul.
    • Refrain:
      It is well with my soul,
      It is well, it is well with my soul.
  2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
    Let this blest assurance control,
    That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
    And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
  3. My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—
    My sin, not in part but the whole,
    Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
    Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
  4. For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
    If Jordan above me shall roll,
    No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
    Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
  5. But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
    The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
    Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
    Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
  6. And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
    The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
    The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
    Even so, it is well with my soul.
  7. Horatio G. Spafford, 1873

Monday, October 26, 2015


we are almost there. We are well on our way to finding completion in Jesus!

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you 
will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
 Philippians 1:6

That means that what God has begun to awaken in you will be made complete in Jesus!

Are you feeling like you are ready to kick off your heels and dive into a new way of life? One where you are not just thinking all about you but one where you start to serve and recognize that other people have needs, too? 

Have you confessed your need for forgiveness?

Have you tried to eliminate the chaos in your life?

Have you committed yourself to living for Him?

Are you learning to communicate? To live a life that when people see you they don't see a hypocrite but a true shining example of Christ?

What about the company you keep? Have you tried to find positive, uplifting friends?

Do you feel like you are living in communion with your fellow believers?

Maybe you still have questions about salvation...maybe you need to hear this tonight...

God loves you. All of you. Deep down inside you know that this is true. There's a need in the depth of our souls that if it hasn't been filled up you will feel an intense emptiness and longing for something that you can't even describe. I'm telling you my friend, you need you some Jesus. A whole lot of Jesus. 

You are not a failure. You are "fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:14) You are worth more than rubies. You are valued and you have been redeemed if you believe that He went to that cross for you.

If God can give me a hundred chances and not give up on me and still forgive me when I fail - which is just about every day - then know this, my friend, He will give you a hundred and one chances. But I'm begging you, please start today. It's never, ever too late to start again. 

Unless you die, and then that's the end. If you die and don't know Him, then I'm afraid that's it. So why not choose love now? My heart aches for you. I want you to have peace. I want you to know what complete joy feels like no matter what the circumstances. I want you to heal. To feel genuine forgiveness. I want you to shout from the rooftops and share your story of redemption with the whole world.

Crazy? Yeah, once upon a time I thought that, too. But here I am, and I'm telling you, it's all real. There is completeness in Christ.