Screaming and Starbucks

Oh my sweet little space on the interweb...how I long to escape and let words pour out from my fingertips. To get rid of anger and frustration and share with the whole wide world that my kids are screaming the f word at each other and not even pretend that life is perfect anymore. Everyone is hurting in our family and withdrawing into their own little shells. There is no community. Everyone is tattle tailing now. And i just want to scream. Get in my van and drive to the nearest Starbucks. 



But deep inside I KNOW that God doesn't have THIS planned for us. I've lost my voice. Can't even get the words to come out of my mouth. Begging them to STOP and listen to me. To hear me and be heard. No strength to take a deep breath and get up and deal with the fighting. I don't even yell anymore because every time I do? My soul hurts...right down to my marrow.

When did my ideal (made up in my head) family life go? Is it really true that everyone lives this way? Or the opposite...is it really true that everyone else's life is perfect and that their children have NEVER said the f word?

Now they are telling each other they are sorry...hugging it out and I haven't said a word. Only poured my heart out to God...here in this space. And so our day continues. The sun shines it's face upon us. God breathes new life into our darkness. 

Do I dare hit "publish" and let you know? Of course, because there is hope for all of us. And His name is Jesus.