Chaos

Some days I get to the 8:00pm hour and feel a primal scream welling up in me. The house is a disaster and I know I cleaned all day. There is a pile of laundry that I will never get to. At least it feels that way. The tv is blaring in the other room and my kids are acting like wild animals. They want drinks and snacks and stories and snuggles. I try and tell them I am only one person, but to them I am SuperMommy...the woman who does it all. So I watch another episode of Thomas, wishing it was Antiques Roadshow instead. I pray a continuous prayer in my head because there isn't time to get down on my knees and I need to ask God to see me through. I made a sign that says "There is no yelling in this house unless there is a fire!" My throat hurts from yelling "stop!" And "no!" And "put that back!" all day. All day. So much for the no yelling part. I envision other sweet mommies gently saying no and not right now honey.

Then I tuck them in bed and I take a deep breath, and another, and sometimes even another. And I ask God for strength for another day.

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